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By Remy Benoit

We have been talking about home; about welcoming ourselves home.
Home is a very complex word. It can mean the place where we grew up, played, came into adulthood. It may carry with it memories of delight, joy, fantasy and exploration. It may be bundled in thick callused layers of pain, hurt, and disappointment. Home may translate for you into something in between those two.

If the term home to you means a place, then truly Thomas Wolfe was right and we can’t go home again, for what we remember we saw from a different perspective of not only height and skinned knees, but from a psyche that has had layers added to it.  We might physically be able to go home; the street may still be there, but it will seem smaller, changed, perhaps even unfamiliar with the passage of time, time’s weathering, peoples’ innovations and renovations.
Even if the old homestead seems locked in time; if the only thing that seems truly physically different is the size of the trees and the extent to which the garden has grown, you can’t go home to a time, or a you, that is no more.

If we cannot go home to a physical place that is unchanged by the simple time, how can we find a mental/emotional/spiritual state that is home? Perhaps that place is the place we ease into when stresses, commitments, demands let up for just a moment. Perhaps that is the place where you daydream, about a time, a place, a you, when all seemed new and available just for the dreaming.

Part of you still accepts that with a child’s acceptance: with a child’s sense of clarity, adventure, and possibility. Another part of you keeps chiming up, Grow up, get real; live in the real world.

But WHAT IF the world you experience is formed by how your thoughts and actions create it?

One part of the seminar asked you to begin to list all the things in one room to help you understand more clearly just how much the world we live in gives us; to help put our lives in historic perspective.

It is said that our homes reflect who we are.  

Take a walk through your home and just look about. This is not the time for the old white glove test; don’t think anyone I know would pass that one.  This is not the time for judging the wear and tear on the furniture. This is a time to walk slowly, perhaps one room a day, spread out over enough time to feel comfortable with it. Walk slowly, with a small notebook in hand, and record your reactions to things that you see that seem to trigger some part of you.

When you have finished this house inventory you are in a position to ask yourself how many things in your home you have outgrown; how many things are there that are there simply because you have been gifted with them and didn’t want to hurt feelings.  Ask yourself how many of these things are still functional and can be passed along to someone else who really needs them at this point on their journey, while pondering how letting them go will lighten your own.
Write down how you feel about letting them go. Explore what emotions come up as you do this and discover which of the things you considered letting go you are really able to do that with, and what, for whatever reason, needs to stay around perhaps just a little while longer.

You might also ask at this point in your exploration of your home what relationships within its walls need mending; at what places are they broken; at what levels do they need oiling, polishing, caring for?

Does this kind of inventory of your home in anyway make you feel closer to coming to the place where you can become at home with the things you truly want in your life? How much of a burden have the things you have brought into your life weighed you down with? How much responsibility for them do you carry?

       And my really big question for you in this little chat is how do you relate to them?

       We have only begun our journey into understanding the world around us; have just begun to explore the outer fringes of quantum physics. But consider this, and while you are considering it, think in terms of story ideas:

What IF:

the plates, spoons, bowls, coffee cups, platters, salt and pepper shakers on your table could be overheard having a conversation among themselves about what they saw and heard going on in the house that day;

what if the clothes in your hamper suddenly decided to break into song;

what would they sing?

       What if the book you were holding could suddenly interrupt your reading flow with a comment about how you were holding it, turning it face down, dog-earing its pages;

what would your lawn, garden, patio garden be saying to others of your treatment of them?

      How would you feel about your neighbors being able to hear loud and clear all of the conversations listed above?

      And, oh yes, imagine this scenario... WHAT IF your home, your life, your conversations and relationships were broadcast live through the television in your living room to the rest of the world?

      These are fun story ideas; thought provoking, perhaps even painful writing ideas.

      But IF, just IF, what we say, do, think; what IF how we treat other people, and yes, also the things in our lives is important, is really impacting on them, and thus we are impacting, and truly in that sense “live broadcasting” our world and our influence on it; well, just What If there is the most remote possibility that our every thought, every action really, really does matter...
well, WHAT IF?

Perhaps Dr. Christian de Quincey, of the Institute of Noetic Sciences can give you some ideas to help you pursue this thinking.

You will also find much guidance in the work of Dr. Deepak Chopra one of the leaders of the movement to see more of the realities that exist around us, and how we do, indeed, create them.

Be peace.


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This item is part of historian, author, editor, and educator Remy Benoit's ongoing weblog for Veterans, writers, students, and others who believe in learning from and making history; including thousands of articles and posts and the free writing seminar, Using History for Healing and Writing.

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