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Evolution is More Important that Resolutions

By Remy Benoit

Happy New Year!

Just remember this quote from Anais Nin:

Dreams are necessary to life.

We hold on to too much that we don’t need and that leaves us too little space in our lives for that which we do need. The things that we continue to carry with us from our vast history of expectations and obligations can weigh very heavy on the now us. They can stifle the possible us.

There is an old joke that I heard many years ago. A man has retired and, as usual, his wife makes his breakfast and places the scrambled eggs in front of him. He looks at her and says, “I loathe scrambled eggs.” She is flustered and responds, “But I have been making you scrambled eggs for breakfast for forty years!” His reply to that is a simple one. “I never had time before to tell you.”

How many things are part of your life that you don’t like?

How many things that you would like to be part of your life aren’t?

During the holiday season, with increasing demands on us, we begin to feel the weight of many things. There are the expectations, those awesome expectations, of what the holidays are “supposed to be.” Just who decided, and when, what the holidays were supposed to be? In the commercial whirl, in the frenzied shopping, something gets lost. People get lost.

That something is, those people are, usually what the holiday, holy day, is really about, and what our relationship to that, and them, is.

If we keep in mind that each of us is unique with something special to offer ourselves and the world it enables us to begin to converse openly with ourselves and ask the important questions.

Who am I?

Am I being true to who I really am?

Am I judging my worth, my success, by my own measures, or by the expectations of others?

Think back to the young child, the teenager in you. What were the things that you loved then?

What energized you?

What delighted you?

Are those things still a part of your life?

How would your life be now if those things were still a part of it?

What room do you need to clear in your life so that they can be?

Is it an imperative that the garage or basement is in perfect order, or is it more important that you bring some music into your life?

The question for you to answer is What brings music to my life? What is the “music” that I need ?

What would make harmony in my life if I included it as part of who I really am?

Was the outdoors part of your life and now the only outdoors you see if from the front door to the car, from the parking garage to the office?

When was the last time you took time to watch the sunset? When did you last walk on a beach, climb a hill, wish on a star? When was the last time you watched the rain fall, the snow cover the ground, the sun light sparkle through the leaves of a tree? When did you last touch nature, or allow nature to touch you?

Did you once dance a lot?

Did you raise tropical fish, shoot baskets, play touch football, collect stamps, fly, ride horses, keep birds?

Were you once adept at water ballet, high diving, motorcycling, baseball?

When was the last time you even decided what you wanted to eat for dinner?

Do you still have a box stored somewhere in an attic or a closet of childhood memorabilia? If you do, take it out and reacquaint yourself with the person you were. Have you outgrown some of the things in the box? Do you get a wistful feeling touching some of them? Do you find an aching place that needs being brought out again into the sunlight? Do you remember the tired little boy who pulled off sweaty sneakers at the end of a summer evening after a day filled with high adventure? Do you recall the little girl who used some of Mommy’s cold cream to rub on your shiny Mary Janes to keep them from cracking? Does that little girl, that little boy inside still have a list of things undone?

Have you ever read Ray Bradbury’s, Dandelion Wine? If not, do take the time to.

These unfulfilled dreams, as well as other things, as jobs wanted but not achieved, are referred to as “non-events” by Nancy H. Schlossberg and Susan Porter Robinson in Going to Plan B: How You Can Cope, Regroup, and Start Your Life On a New Path, a book I highly recommend you put on your holiday list.

This year, when you wrapped presents, did you unwrap a soul piece that has been neglected. Don’t constrict it with a box or a bow, open it to the light of joy and reclaim a piece of what you really love and need in your life.

It is not only a gift to yourself, it is a gift to the more joyful self that you can share with others.

Ask yourself a couple questions.

What unfulfilled dreams of those close to you are impacting on your life?

What can you do to help them become realities?

Did what you wrapped as gifts help to achieve those dreams?

Maybe some thought should be given to that; some revisions made about expectations for the holidays.

Those questions are steps to being all that you can be; of helping those you love to be all that they can be: a unique part of Creation with something special to share.

Follow this link to see what Albert Schweitzer had to say about Reverence for Life.



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This item is part of historian, author, editor, and educator Remy Benoit's ongoing weblog for Veterans, writers, students, and others who believe in learning from and making history; including thousands of articles and posts and the free writing seminar, Using History for Healing and Writing.

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