Introduction

Subscribe

Editing

Archive

Remy's Books



Remy's other writings

Categories

Site

Three New Choices That Dismiss Dark Conditions

By Guy Finley

The only thing most of us know to do when life takes an unwanted turn, bringing us what we don't want, is to take a turn for the negative ourselves. And when the circumstance in question really makes a wreck of things, not only do we summarily reject the event seen "at cause," but for good measure we often will turn our wrath upon our own lives, pronouncing them "not worth living!"

Such flashes of frustration born from our growing sense of futility make sense on the surface of things, and even seem curative to the self that feels so impossibly stuck. But a closer look proves otherwise.

What many have yet to understand is that dark, negative reactions to unwanted events do nothing to cure them. In fact, these painful impulses have just the opposite effect. They actually "cement" things--fixing both themselves and the false sense of self through which they then are empowered to run their unhappy course. Here is some help to see the truth of this.

Each negative response that passes unconsciously through us actually confirms its own dark perception that life has "done me wrong!" But this is only half of its hidden operation. This same conclusion--of having been somehow victimized by an uncaring world--virtually locks the door on the possibility of ever discovering the real lessons and the truth behind these times of trial. Whenever life runs counter to your wishes, try to see that it really isn't life that has denied you your happiness, but that the real culprit responsible for darkening the moment is some idea you have about what you need to be happy.

Admittedly, this new and higher perception takes courage, because instead of struggling to change the "dark" condition called into question (or just silently stewing over it), you must turn and face the false self responsible for this outlook. But the truth is there is really no alternative, not if you can see that as long as this demanding self stands unchallenged within you, so will the painful pattern of fighting with unwanted events continue to occur. The next time that life comes knocking with what you "don't want," instead of allowing yourself to be dragged through the old round-around, make these three new choices, and watch how they dismiss the darkness knocking at your door:

Your first choice (always!) is to come wide awake to yourself. Remember: Your new aim is to not allow old, mechanical reactions to rule the day. Then, in this awareness of yourself, see that the unpleasantness of the offending moment is not actually in the event itself but is an effect of resisting your own perception that something has taken away your happiness. Key here to escaping this circle of self-perpetuating punishment is in coming awake to its existence, and how not wanting to feel a certain way is giving you the very feeling you don't want!

For your second new choice, stop complaining to yourself (and others) about what life has "done" to you. All you are really doing is recreating the very dismal state-of-self you are condemning. Consciously choose to go the other way, which brings us to the third and most important choice in this Exercise:

Say "yes" to life. Instead of blindly refusing moments that seem contradictory to your contentment, and then arbitrarily pushing them away, learn how to embrace these unwanted moments. Bring them into your real life, into the light of self-awareness, instead of trying to get rid of them. Your conscious embrace invites these times to tell you about the self they help to reveal. Freedom follows.

Question: What is the source of severe depression, and what is the most effective way to begin attacking it?

GF: We have to see the big picture in order to succeed with our wish for freedom from any state. All things physical have gravity. This includes thought-forms and emotional energies. All thought-forms and their accompanying energies operate under the law of association and attraction. Depression begins with an unconscious act of identifying with certain images about ourselves. These images or ideas usually have to do with pictures we hold in our own mind about what we are supposed to be or accomplish in this life. The problem with this set of ideas is that they don't belong to us -- they are an effect of the world we live in, whose nature it is to measure ourselves by values passed along by others. When we compare ourselves unconsciously to these ideas and fail to measure up, it just drives the circle of self. First this nature looks for itself and, failing to find what it's looking for, it simply returns to its own content for another answer, which is always part of the problem and never the solution. Now multiply this and you will understand severe depression. Since this negative state enters us and takes possession of us in unawareness, new awareness is the solution. In order to see what we must about this false sense of self, it is necessary to investigate it instead of giving ourselves over to it. Don't fight with it. Add as much light (awareness) to it as you can, and it will begin to lose its hold on you. And here is one additional thought: As you lose interest in any negative state, i.e., in the sense of self it surreptitiously provides you, the state dwindles away into its native darkness, no longer a problem for you because you are no longer a place in which it can dwell.

Print


No comments.

This item is part of WelcomeHomeSoldier.com: historian, author, editor, and educator Remy Benoit's ongoing weblog for Veterans, writers, students, and others who believe in learning from and making history; including thousands of articles and posts and the free writing seminar, Using History for Healing and Writing.


Comments are moderated and will not appear until approved by Remy Benoit. A syntactically valid email address is required.

Remember me?
Name:

Email address:

URL

Display neither email nor URL
Display email
Display URL